Saturday, October 22, 2016

My "Mini-Healing" Session with Carol

My eyes have really been opened the last few months to patterns that I've created in my life that have been really unhealthy, both physically and emotionally. I've realized that I do and don't do things so that people won't think that I think I'm better than anyone else.

I guess it started when I was in the 4th grade and moved into a really affluent neighborhood. For the next 10+ years we felt like we were treated like the poor white trash of the neighborhood, with people making comments about our old beat up cars and lack of nice clothes. I wasn't welcomed into the group of girls my age, who were all popular, because I wasn't cute or popular enough.

(Not very cute, but I was a very nice girl!)

My other sisters really felt it as well, and as we've talked about it now that we're adults, we've realized that several of us have taken on the same pattern that I have. We don't blame anyone in the past for their behavior, because it's always up to us to choose how we'll react to things. I certainly didn't need to take that on and feel bad about myself, but I did and so now I have to deal with the consequences of that choice.

For example:

- One of my earlier posts about "The Hostess with the Mostess".... Quite an innocent comment really, but because I don't want anyone to feel like I'm trying to outdo anyone else, I stopped having people over for nice dinners. I really enjoyed doing it too, but completely stopped! Can you believe how ridiculous?!?

- We added on to our house 2 years ago. Whenever anyone comes over to see it and comments on how nice it is, I immediately have to explain that we added an apartment downstairs for Todd's aunt (who died before it was finished) and that she gave us some money to do it. (We would have done it anyway in a few more years, but we did it sooner because of her). I have an element of embarrassment sometimes when people come over to my house because I don't want them to think we're snotty and think that we're better than anyone else.

- Several weeks ago Carol Tuttle, who is the author of "Remembering Wholeness" and "It's Just My Nature" and who developed the Dressing Your Truth program, emailed my sisters and me and said that she'd like us to be a part of a video for her blog. We've become good friends over the last few years and have gone out to dinner with her several times and she has noticed that we each carry physical issues that we've had a hard time getting rid of. She knows that we've struggled with a few things and thought that she could help us get rid of some of the issues we've been having. Mine is my weight.

As she started my "healing session" she picked up on this pattern of my need to make sure other people don't feel bad, which goes along with my Type 2 nature of wanting everyone to be okay and feel comfortable. About the middle of the session I kept seeing myself in a situation that happened when I was about 27 years old when I went to go visit one of my best friends who was living in California. When Carol paused towards the end of the session and asked if I had any questions, I told her about the situation and I started bawling on camera. It was really embarrassing, but watching it back and thinking about it for the last few weeks has really made me realize this limiting belief I've had for so long has carried into so many aspects of my adult life. (It was about that time that I started putting on weight). It was so eye opening!!!

So, I'm now on a quest to love myself more, not put myself down, and not make myself "less than" just so that someone else doesn't feel uncomfortable. It may take me a little while to get rid of all of the old beliefs and programs I've had, but I have felt so much happier and more at peace the last few weeks since filming that than I ever have before.

So, here's to my quest of becoming healthy emotionally and physically!!

Friday, July 3, 2015

The rest of 2014

August 2014 - The first day of school!  Emily is in the 4th grade and Maria in the 6th.

Joseph is in the 8th grade and Andrew is starting High School in the 10th grade.

They've come a long way since this picture (which was Emily's first day of Kindergarten 4 years ago)....

We went hiking in the slot canyons with the Bickels in Southern Utah for Fall recess.  It's always great hanging out with cousins, and the scenery was gorgeous!


October: Our fun tradition of going to the corn maze and pumpkin patch with the Knapp's.  They are SO much fun!

And partying on Halloween:


 We love hiking up to the Bountiful Temple and overlooking the city. It was a cold day!

We had a great Thanksgiving and Christmas together, and had Marsha visiting with us from Denver.  It was super fun!

Andrew received his Eagle Scout award.  Good job Andrew!!

My boys are growing up on me!  

And finally, our family pictures for 2014.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Welcome 2014

2014 came in with a bang!  

Bishop McKinley - 1st Day (and feeling very overwhelmed!!)

Went to several U. of U. basketball games..

The girls posed for some pictures in their new clothes....

Joseph got braces!!

Andrew got his off the next month.  Yay!

First ever field trip with Emily - Capital Theatre

Easter Egg Hunt with cousins.

Maria in her school play - Peter Pan (with the yellow bandana on her head)

celebrating Andrew's birthday....

And Emily's the next day....

Another field trip with Emily (tulip festival)

Took an amazing trip to Italy with April and Jeff... We were celebrating the end of tax season and April's 50th birthday this summer.  I can't believe she's going to be 50!  She looks like she's 30.

 Todd's awesome photography...

We had to check out all of the gelato places for April.  We probably had gelato at least 4 times every day.  So fun!

Photo bomber!

Another photo bomber!

When we got home we got to go to the girls' first ever ballet recital!  They were amazing dancers.

Went on a few more fun field trips and weekend drives up in the mountains...

It was 70 degrees in the valley, but 30 and snowing up in the Uintah mountains.  Pretty crazy!

Emily got braces!

Had a flower making party with the girls and their friends...

We finally have a garden after 5 years.  Yay!!!  This is the first of 2 grow boxes Todd made..

Took a fun trip to Yellowstone after school ended...
(The kids are trying not to gag with the sulfur smell!) 

And celebrated Maria's birthday with a cake she made all by herself!  
Whew.  That was a lot packed into 6 months.

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