Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The hostess with the mostess

When I was a little girl my mom told me that whenever I would get a treat in school or church, I'd save it until I got home so that I could share it with my family. I've always been that way. Whenever I get something good I love to share it. Whether it be food, life changing books I've read, or whatever (except for my favorite chocolate - if I only have a few pieces left, then it's hands off people!)

Years ago, Todd and I were invited to my Mission President's home with a few other couples for dinner. When we got there we were treated like royalty and fed a wonderful dinner. The table was set with their best china, lit candles, beautiful flowers for a centerpiece and name cards and a small gift at each place setting. Sister Turley had gone to such great lengths to make it absolutely perfect!
(Image - google)

On the way home Todd and I talked about how loved and cherished we felt because they had really put a lot of thought into making it such a wonderful night, and commented on how neat it was to have someone show their love for you in that way. I decided that because I love to entertain I was going to invite the people that I loved over for a dinner like that. I started planning and getting excited about it. We invited several of our closest friends over and I took great care in choosing the menu and putting together the prettiest table that I could. I lit candles around the room and had name cards where they were supposed to sit. Everything looked perfect!
(Not my actual table.....)

When the guests started arriving I expected that they would feel of my love for them as they saw what I had spent my time doing for them, just like Todd and I felt. But, when one couple came, the wife looked around the room and saw the table and said, "Well, aren't you the hostess with the mostess?" I'm sure she didn't mean anything by it, but I felt like she didn't understand why I had gone to all of the trouble and was doing it to make myself look good. I haven't invited anyone outside of my family over for a formal dinner since then because I'm afraid of people thinking that I'm trying to outdo them. Dumb, I know. Every time I open my cupboards and see my pretty chargers and china sitting there unused I hear her voice saying, "Well, aren't you the hostess with the mostess" and I shut the cupboards and think, well, maybe someday.

So, if you get an invitation from me in the future and walk in and see candles lit and my table set with my best china, know that I'm doing it out of love for you and not because I want to be the "hostess with the mostess".

Thursday, March 24, 2011

No pain, no gain....

With tax season in full swing I'm feeling like a single mom again for awhile. I've said for years that I really don't know how single mom's do it! At least I get a husband coming home eventually at night, and I have someone to talk to on the phone about what's going on with the kids. But single mom's don't have any of that. They should get some serious brownie points in the hereafter for going it alone.

The boys have been doing Jr. Jazz basketball again this year. Unfortunately both of their teams are terrible, and I think Andrew's team only won one game and Joseph's has lost every time. My boys have improved this year which is fun to see, but for their sakes it would have been nice for them to have won a few more games.

It's so interesting to me to see the difference in my children's personalities. They are all a different type according to Carol Tuttle's Energy Profiling System, which we have all absolutely LOVED learning about and has been life changing for us. For example, Emily is a Type 3, which is more of a fiery, dynamic personality. She had some minor surgery on her mouth last month and she was a little scared for the shots to numb her mouth, but she was a total trooper! She had the skin between her two front teeth lasered off so she has more movement with her lips now. This is what it looked like before (I'll try and take one of the after):
On the flip side, Maria is a Type 2 (like I am). Type 2's are very sensitive to feelings as well as emotions. I had to take her to a special pediatric dentist to get some teeth pulled and some cavities filled because she's not very cooperative at the regular dentist. When we got to the pediatric dentist's office and he gave her 1 shot in her gums she freaked out and started screaming and crying. He couldn't even get near her mouth after that and we had to leave without having any of the work done. We have to go back and have her drink some medicine that will make her sleepy and knock her out so that he can do the work he needs to. I was totally embarrassed!

I don't ever remember being like that as a child, and I think the reason is because my mom would always comment about how wimpy some people were (specifically the women who were giving birth at the same time she was. She would comment about how ridiculous they acted when they'd cry and scream), so I learned that it wasn't acceptable to be wimpy like that and I toughened up fast. I always prided myself on being able to withstand a lot of pain. It will be really interesting to see if Maria gets better over time and what she's like when she gives birth. :) She is such a sweetheart though and I wouldn't change a thing about her for the world. She brings such a calm, sweet energy to our home. She is so sensitive and tender and I see so much of myself in her when I was her age. My heart aches for her when she comes home and tells me some of the mean things that kids say or do to her because I remember feeling the same way and being so hurt that people would treat me that way. I thought it was my fault and that I must be a horrible or stupid person.

It's hard being a mom and wanting to protect your children from all of the bad things that happen. I guess the best thing I can do it to try to help them understand that it's important to think positively and not let others' negativity get them down.
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